Queer and Screaming: First Grade

As the shrewd Patrick Star, PhD once said: "It's first grade, Spongebob!"

He was of course, referring to wumbo.

Sadly, wumbo is not the topic that I am here to speak to you about today.

This past weekend, I went on a super Savers spree at--you guessed it--Savers with my mom and sister. It was an impromptu idea sprouted in the brain of my mother as we drove past it while in Connecticut. Due to our fantastic experiences in the past at Savers, we decided that only good could come from making a brief stop, just to check it out. If you've ever been in any store ever, you know that it is impossible to go inside for "just a minute." Physically impossible. We quickly left our self-imposed thirty-minute time limit in the dust as we moved around the cavernous outlet in a whirlwind. Half an hour effortlessly became an hour and a half. After I had gotten over the initial shock of the overwhelming mass of clothing in front of me, I was able to dig my way through every rack possible, not even stopping at the little markers that let me know that my size would not be found in the next section.

My sister and I operate the same way: grab as much as you can, and whittle down your selection later. I entered the dressing room with approximately twenty pieces of clothing, and exited triumphantly with two short sleeve button-up shirts, one tweed skirt, a plaid shift dress, and a pair of crimson silk pants (that are secretly polyester) slung over my right arm. I then entered the shoe aisle(s), and emerged with a pair of white leather Keds, some flat black woven pointy-toed sandals, and a pair of brocade Victorian chunky heels. I was this close to buying a humongous old leather suitcase for ten dollars, but my mom told me that there was absolutely no reason to do that. My rebuttal was that I will someday be a world travel and I need a really nice leather suitcase right now. My reasoning didn't go any further than that.

The other day I decided that it was pointless to gradually incorporate my new items into my wardrobe when I could wear the additions all at once. The result was a funky 80s nurse, according to Olive. I said that I felt like I should be bowling. Physician's assistant by day, integral part of the underground bowling scene by night. That's me. Now you know it all.

But, in order to tie everything together, I must explain the significance of this post's title. The use of primary colors in colorblocked form reminded me of young children creating tempera finger-painted artwork in first grade.

My thought process: Savers → colors → first graders → wumbo.

[Photos by me.]