I made a bag in seventh grade that says "I LOVE SHOES" on it. I don't think I actually loved shoes at the time (that was still in my shlumpy elastic-waistband-jeans-and-the-same-sweatshirt-everyday phase), but now I can wear that bag un-ironically. I really do love me some good shoes. I'm not a footwear-hoarder (ie Leandra Medine), but I definitely have my fair share of foot coverings. I'm the sort of person that gets a good pair of shoes and wears them every day for weeks, months, or years. I like to spread the love around, but honestly, not all shoes are created equal. Some are infinitely better than others. That's how we end up with holes in the heels of our boots, thus resulting in wet socks and that weird squishy feeling that ants have set up camp between your toes and have started blasting TNT except their TNT is just made of mushy water. Because they're ants.
In other non-insect-related news, Birkenstocks. Yes, that's all I was gonna say. Have a good night.
No, come back, I was kidding! The truth of the matter is, Birkenstocks are becoming--wait for it--HIGH FASHION. Yes, yes, yes, it's really truly happening. The infamous middle aged man's footwear of choice has officially graced the runways of the world. If your mind has not been blown by now, you should read that sentence again and hope for a better reaction.
Here's my theory (but what does my theory really matter? Like, I'm just some chick sitting on her couch, taking a break from studying for an AP history exam (which I'm studying for by watching episode after episode of Crash Course, you should try it, John Green is fantastic) by blogging, a task which she has neglected for far too long and is quickly realizing how much she loves and misses the simplicity and enjoyment of casually-formally ranting about absolutely anything and having random people read it. Does my opinion actually mean anything? Does anything actually mean anything? Is anything real? Do I exist? What is happening? My mom thinks I should stop reading Kerouac for a while because doing so causes things like this to happen.). I think that we've spent so much time--us, the collective ~human race~ over the course of history--forcing ourselves to do things we simply don't want to do, and have only done them because everyone else was doing it (vicious cycle ensues), ie wearing really uncomfortable shoes, that we've finally realized that life is too short to walk around in stilettos all the time just so your legs supposedly look longer. The best people in the world don't really care about the length of your legs, but rather the substance of your mind. So you should be able to wear frickin' Birkenstocks if you like. I would like to take this moment to reiterate what is perhaps the thesis of this blog, if there is such a thing: fashion is not about clothing, or trends, or materialism, or capitalism, or anything like that. It's about self-expression and what you think is rad, and how you like to tell people what you think is rad. End scene.
Some of the examples of Birkenstock-like sandals on the runways were in menswear collections, so a few names might be unfamiliar. I had to go deep, deep down into the underwater trenches of the abyss-like Internetz to find some of these references, so don't complain about their obscurity. That's what the Internet was made for, to expose the vast obscurity of everything. (Okay, maybe my mom is right.)
Photos via the vast and obscure Interwebz.
Dries van Noten Menswear S/S 2013
You really can't get any tackier than camouflage pants and mandals with python and camo accents, as well as traction soles.
Givenchy Menswear S/S 2013
Sometimes your feet just need to be free and fancy at the same time.
Agi & Sam Menswear S/S 2013
He is, in fact, a runway model. He looks like an eccentric Middle Eastern prison-inmate-cum-beachside-smoothie-vendor, but I really really like it.
Miu Miu S/S 2013
Miuccia Prada made flat shoes??? What is happening to everything???
Marni S/S 2013
Very simple, yet so elegant. It's like not wearing shoes, except without looking like you're wearing futuristic toe-socks.
Céline S/S 2013
The famous fluffy (I keep typing "fluffly," can that just become the official spelling?) Céline sandals. What more can I say that they have not already said themselves?
Robert Piqueras S/S 2013
Those are actually glitterfied Reebok sandals. I kid you not.
Rochambeau S/S 2013
Desert wanderer enters Los Angeles by accident, stumbles into a mall first thing, and emerges looking like an amalgamation of a cowboy, a high strung intern at a fashion magazine, and MC Hammer.
Araks S/S 2013
Another simple version of the sandal, this time taking a bit of an Addams family tone.
That's all, my eyes are half asleep (yes, just the eyes, the rest of me is quite awake), I am leaving, good night.
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