How To Be A Natural Babe

~I AM A NATURAL BABE~

u make me feel lyk a natral womunnn

o heh how r u

i m bug

i look lyk rokstar yes?

that is fire on my head

HELLO

Ever wonder how I can do such kickass things with my hair WITHOUT PUTTING ANYTHING IN IT AT ALL? I'll tell ya. But first, an introduction.

*******

The best way to do anything is not to fight nature, but to work with it. That's why I stopped using shampoo and conditioner and I started changing the way I take care of my body from the outside and the inside. I learned how to conquer my fear of acids and bicarbonates (okay, fine, I was never afraid of bicarbonates). I embrace my past fears (see above). And now we all work together in a beautiful little circle of ~natural goodness.~ I also became vegan, which deserves a whole essay unto itself, but I'll go into it a lilabet. My scientific knowledge extends to basic biology and chemistry and nutrition, with a few factoids here and there, so you don't have to believe me if you don't want, but I suggest that you do because the facts make sense and "nature never wears a mean appearance" (Ralph Waldo Emerson "Nature").

ARE YOU READY FOR BITCHIN HAIR YEAH I THOUGHT SO 

I'm going to assume that over the years you've tried out different shampoo and conditioner brands, maybe switching it up every once in a while. I've had a lot of different hairstyles over the past few years, and I would always dread showering because it meant that there was a slim chance my hair would do what I wanted it to without a lot of manual manipulation. I now blame this partially on the fact that I used store-bought hair products that totally fucked up my scalp's zen. Shampoo is, by definition, a detergent. That word makes me think of a washing machine. Imagine washing your hair with laundry detergent. Doesn't sound like such a great idea anymore, does it. Human heads naturally produce oil (I think it's to protect our scalps or something? Remember, I don't know the hardcore science I just know the basics), but when we use shampoo we strip that natural oil right off our nice lil heads and it goes whooshing down the drown. If you have oily hair (anyone who knew me in middle school can attest to the fact that my bangs were basically oil city), you're probably thinking, "Damn, that sounds awesome." But the thing is, you don't usually shampoo your hair and get out of the shower. You put in conditioner afterward. Conditioner puts other (i.e. not humanly-produced) oils back on your scalp, and then your scalp is like, "yo wait what I thought I was naked but now I'm being smushed by this weird stuff that smells like sea breeze...I gotta get this shit OFF of me" so it starts producing all of its oils like crazy to try and combat these foreigner weirdos, and then you have oily hair so you take another shower and the evil cycle is perpetuated. 

When I bleached my hair, I felt really bad for my little hair follicles that had to suffer so dramatically, so I decided to go "no poo," a method which I will explain to you. You can read other people's articles about no poo if you want some more info. 

Baking soda is a bicarbonate. It is actually sodium bicarbonate. That means its chemical makeup is sodium, hydrogen, carbon, and oxygen. That's it. Those are all familiar words. No trizoxythelene sulfate and monoethylate norexizene (I bet if I weren't about to tell you that I made those names up you wouldn't have questioned whether or not they're real) to be found. Baking soda is a natural cleansing agent and is the weakest alkaline/base (pH of 9) so it's a-OK to use on and in you (it's a regular ingredient in lots of recipes). For every cup of water, mix in a tablespoon of baking soda. Put it in a squeeze bottle or some sort of container (they sell empty squeeze bottles at CVS in pretty colors), and shake it up. This is your shampoo. I've found that my baking soda doesn't actually dissolve in the water and maybe it's 'cause I'm doing something wrong, but just shake it before each time you use it if this happens to you too. Once your hair is wet in the shower, use some of the baking soda "shampoo" by massaging it into your scalp (when your scalp is clean, the strands will follow suit). It won't feel like much is going on, but it totally is. If you want, wait a few minutes before you rinse it out and spend the interim singing.

Apple cider vinegar is--you guessed it--a type of vinegar obtained by crushing apples to get the juice out and then is fermented. Hippocrates (yes, that Hippocrates, the "Father of Medicine," c. 400 BC) loved the stuff and used it for basically everything. I use it for lots of things because it has so many benefits, but the initial reason I bought it was to put it in my hair. Apple cider vinegar (ACV from hereon out for efficiency) is special in that it's a mild acid on the pH scale, but when it goes inside our bodies it has the effect of an alkaline/base. That's sort of irrelevant here because your hair resides externally, but it will be useful info in a little while. Since baking soda is a weak base and ACV is a weak acid, they balance each other out and neutralize the pH of your hair/scalp, because I definitely don't want a basic or acidic head. The ratio for ACV to water is the same: one tablespoon to every cup. Put it in a squeeze bottle, shake it up, put a lil bit on the ends of your hair (for me the ends of my hair and my scalp are in the same place), let the ACV chill there for a second, and then rinse it out. 

There may be a transition period of a few weeks to a few months of your hair adjusting to the ~naturalness~ but I didn't have a transition period at all. When I get out of the shower my hair feels a little funky in the sense that it feels kind of thick and weighed down, but then it dries very nicely and is soft for a day or two and then it gets really easy to manipulate and play around with. This is probably also due to the haircut that I have, so I can't say much regarding non-pixie hairstyles. I also only wash my hair every three or so days, sometimes more. I'll wash it when it starts to feel a little itchy or if it just looks stupid.

As I mentioned earlier, I began vegan a few months ago and I'm feeling like a rockstar. I'm sure that all the nice vitamins and minerals and healthiness that I consume on the regz definitely make my hair healthier and stronger and maybe even grow faster.

Okay so the moral of the story is: don't wash your hair often, don't use chemicals/artificial stuff on or in your body, sleep a lot (bedhead woooo), drink lots of water (hydration for them follicles), and become vegan. whoa what

Enjoy your weekend!

ALSO: If you have a minute to spare, please check out the fundraiser me and a friend/teacher have organized to raise money for me to become a certified yoga teacher. You'll be helping a sistah fulfill her dreamz so if you can find it in your heart to either share the fundraiser with people you know and/or donate even just $1, however much you can comfortably give, I'll send you love forever and ever!!!!! Just go to THIS LINK:

www.youcaring.com/TTtuitFund