Miu Miu x2

The other night, Alina and I went to a pre-Fashion Week party for the tattoo artist Bang Bang (more to come on the event later), and funnily enough, her and I both wore outfits inspired by different Miu Miu seasons. 

Miu Miu Spring 2012

Alina's awesome interpretation

Smiley starpup

There's never too much red.

Her frickin' Prada shoes.

Miu Miu Fall 2011

Dress: Sundance (via my aunt)

Necklace: some family member

Socks: nowhere n everywhere (where do socks even come from??)

Shoes: Dansko (via my grandma)

What is even happenin'

Bag: my grandma

Hello these are my frumpy lil feet and my silly bag hi!

I think that may have been the lamest post I have ever written. Yowza. Whatever it's Friday go sing songs and drink sunflower juice.

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Birkenstocking

I made a bag in seventh grade that says "I LOVE SHOES" on it. I don't think I actually loved shoes at the time (that was still in my shlumpy elastic-waistband-jeans-and-the-same-sweatshirt-everyday phase), but now I can wear that bag un-ironically. I really do love me some good shoes. I'm not a footwear-hoarder (ie Leandra Medine), but I definitely have my fair share of foot coverings. I'm the sort of person that gets a good pair of shoes and wears them every day for weeks, months, or years. I like to spread the love around, but honestly, not all shoes are created equal. Some are infinitely better than others. That's how we end up with holes in the heels of our boots, thus resulting in wet socks and that weird squishy feeling that ants have set up camp between your toes and have started blasting TNT except their TNT is just made of mushy water. Because they're ants. 

In other non-insect-related news, Birkenstocks. Yes, that's all I was gonna say. Have a good night. 

No, come back, I was kidding! The truth of the matter is, Birkenstocks are becoming--wait for it--HIGH FASHION. Yes, yes, yes, it's really truly happening. The infamous middle aged man's footwear of choice has officially graced the runways of the world. If your mind has not been blown by now, you should read that sentence again and hope for a better reaction. 

Here's my theory (but what does my theory really matter? Like, I'm just some chick sitting on her couch, taking a break from studying for an AP history exam (which I'm studying for by watching episode after episode of Crash Course, you should try it, John Green is fantastic) by blogging, a task which she has neglected for far too long and is quickly realizing how much she loves and misses the simplicity and enjoyment of casually-formally ranting about absolutely anything and having random people read it. Does my opinion actually mean anything? Does anything actually mean anything? Is anything real? Do I exist? What is happening? My mom thinks I should stop reading Kerouac for a while because doing so causes things like this to happen.). I think that we've spent so much time--us, the collective ~human race~ over the course of history--forcing ourselves to do things we simply don't want to do, and have only done them because everyone else was doing it (vicious cycle ensues), ie wearing really uncomfortable shoes, that we've finally realized that life is too short to walk around in stilettos all the time just so your legs supposedly look longer. The best people in the world don't really care about the length of your legs, but rather the substance of your mind. So you should be able to wear frickin' Birkenstocks if you like. I would like to take this moment to reiterate what is perhaps the thesis of this blog, if there is such a thing: fashion is not about clothing, or trends, or materialism, or capitalism, or anything like that. It's about self-expression and what you think is rad, and how you like to tell people what you think is rad. End scene. 

Some of the examples of Birkenstock-like sandals on the runways were in menswear collections, so  a few names might be unfamiliar. I had to go deep, deep down into the underwater trenches of the abyss-like Internetz to find some of these references, so don't complain about their obscurity. That's what the Internet was made for, to expose the vast obscurity of everything. (Okay, maybe my mom is right.)

Photos via the vast and obscure Interwebz. 

Dries van Noten Menswear S/S 2013

You really can't get any tackier than camouflage pants and mandals with python and camo accents, as well as traction soles. 

Givenchy Menswear S/S 2013

Sometimes your feet just need to be free and fancy at the same time.

Agi & Sam Menswear S/S 2013

He is, in fact, a runway model. He looks like an eccentric Middle Eastern prison-inmate-cum-beachside-smoothie-vendor, but I really really like it. 

Miu Miu S/S 2013

Miuccia Prada made flat shoes??? What is happening to everything???

Marni S/S 2013

Very simple, yet so elegant. It's like not wearing shoes, except without looking like you're wearing futuristic toe-socks. 

Céline S/S 2013

The famous fluffy (I keep typing "fluffly," can that just become the official spelling?) Céline sandals. What more can I say that they have not already said themselves?

Robert Piqueras S/S 2013

Those are actually glitterfied Reebok sandals. I kid you not. 

Rochambeau S/S 2013

Desert wanderer enters Los Angeles by accident, stumbles into a mall first thing, and emerges looking like an amalgamation of a cowboy, a high strung intern at a fashion magazine, and MC Hammer.

Araks S/S 2013

Another simple version of the sandal, this time taking a bit of an Addams family tone. 

What is the verdict, dear readers? Are you ready to embrace your inner tackiness and show the world the true meaning of comfort, or are you unable to wrap your head around the concept that your dad was doing it right all along? Or something in between? Tellme. One word.

That's all, my eyes are half asleep (yes, just the eyes, the rest of me is quite awake), I am leaving, good night.

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We Have Miuccia Prada To Thank For This DIY

Miuccia Prada: the designer behind the brands Prada and Miu Miu. Coincidentally, those are the two labels I drew inspiration from for my newest DIY: glitter creepers. 

I know what you're thinking: "Glitter shoes is a lot to take in by itself, but then you had to throw them on a platform? No. Too much." Skeptic, I thought this too. But then I went for it. I figured, why have just a pair of sparkly slip-ons when I can be three inches taller while wearing them? Are you beginning to see my logic? Good. If you're a more concrete person, here's a mathematical equation to help you out: 

I've never made platform shoes or glitterfied anything before, so I used this Miu Miu shoe tutorial and this Prada creepers DIY for some help and I just built off of there. 

My DIY's are really not all that practical to replicate because I just make it up as I go along, but please attempt to follow my bizarre steps if you are so inclined. The product will be fantastic and completely original, which is always a plus. I don't know anyone else with shoes like mine. Anyway, let's get to it. 

Warning: There are an ungodly amount of parentheses following this sentence. Just be ready.

Things you need for glitterfication: 

1. Fabric glue 

2. Glitter in a color of your choice (I went with coarse-ish gold glitter with a touch of fine red glitter because I really dig sparkly red things; two ounces should be plenty. Buy a four ounce bottle if you're nervous you won't have enough.)

3. A pair of old (or cheap and new) shoes that you won't mind destroying if you completely botch this up. I chose my old pair of Christian Siriano for Payless slip-ons because I have an identical unworn pair in my closet. I would never jeopardize the well-being of my Christians. 

4. A sponge brush or paintbrush

5. A large area and proper surface coverings (i.e. a towel, paper, a shoe box to contain your glitter, etcetera). This is essential: there is glitter in every corner of my apartment. Literally, it's everywhere. 

*Optional*: 1. A few Dixie cups to hold your glue for easier application

                     2. Several colors of glitter, for your entertainment 

                     3. Any embellishments you want to add, like those studs on the toe that were in the original        

                      tutorial 

Things you need for platformifying: 

1. A pair of old flip flops 

2. Old shoe soles (I ripped them off of a pair of demolished rainboots, but you can supposedly buy them from your local cobbler if you're lazy. If you have any old pair of shoes, just cut the soles out and save yourself the money/trip to the store. I don't even know if cobblers exist anymore, so...)

3. Wood glue or another ridiculously strong adhesive (like a hot glue gun) 

4. Really sharp/intense scissors (or moderately sharp) 

5. A Sharpie 

6. Something heavy to weigh down your soles 

7. Fabric, raffia, trim, anything like that to cover up the edges of your platforms 

Let's begin! 

Steps 1-7 and 10-12 have to do with the platform-making process, so if you're not doing that, just skip them.

Step 1: Cut the straps off of your flip flops. 

Step 2: Place your shoes on top of your flip flop soles and trace around the outside with a Sharpie so that they are the same shape as the bottom of your shoes. Make sure you trace along the very edge of the shoe or else you'll have baby-sized platforms and it'll look funny. 

Step 2

Step 3: Cut out your new flip flop sole shape with your mega scissors. This was actually a somewhat painful step, jus' sayin'.

Step 3

Step 4: Cut out/obtain your other shoe soles (here you can see my nasty little rainboot soles--yum.)

Step 4

Step 5: Lay out your carpenter's/wood glue, brush of choice and assorted soles. This is not a legitimate step, really, because it's kind of just common sense, but I have a picture, so it gets its own instructions.

Step 5

Step 6: Apply glue to all four soles and sandwich together the corresponding ones (right flip flop goes to right shoe sole, left flip flop goes to left shoe sole).

Step 6

Step 7: Toss (not literally, that would be dumb) something heavy on your soles to make them stick better. I used some 10-pound weights because my family is full of champion weight lifters, no big deal. Just kidding.

Step 7

Step 8: Let your soles dry while you glitterize your shoes. I'm trying to see how many new verbs and nouns I can make out of the word "glitter." Right now I'm up to three. Get out your shoes and place them in your work area. Notice my computer in the background, and also note that this is not a good idea. There will be blood so much sparkle. More than you may be able to handle.

Step 8

Step 9: Apply glue first to the tongue and toe of your shoe and generously sprinkle glitter all over the glue-y area. Shake off the excess and repeat the process if you deem it necessary, based on your sparkle needs. Then proceed to do the same thing for each side, but do each one individually because fabric glue dries rill quickly. Do this for both shoes.

Step 9

A glittery close-up

Step 10: If you're just making glitter shoes, you can stop here. Congratz, you're done! Well, after you've sprayed them with waterproof shoe spray, if you've got it. If you're making them into creepers, keep reading. Let your shoes dry for a few hours, and then glue the bottoms of them to your platform soles (put glue on soles: glitter shoe and platform) and weigh them down to let them dry. I just filled my shoes with pennies because those 10-pound weights would have just smushed my pretty shoes.

Step 10

Step 11: Once your shoes have dried for another few hours (no one said this was a quick DIY), use your trim of choice to wrap around your platform soles to camouflage the fact that there are actually three soles under there. No one has to know. Just use wood or fabric glue to attach the fabric/raffia/ribbon/fur/cat hair/live plants that you want to have on your shoes. I used left over fabric from my last DIY and some white ribbon.

Step 11

Step 12: Let 'em dry, spray 'em with waterproof shoe protector spray to keep them from dying in the rain (although I don't suggest wearing them in the rain or snow if you can avoid it; it will cause you to leave a trail of sparkles wherever you go, which will make it easy for people to track you down if you're running from the CIA, or something.) and wear 'em!

Let me know if you try it out by leaving me a comment below, by sending me an email at youreatulle@gmail.com, Tweeting me @youre_a_tulle, or writing on You're A Tulle's Facebook page. Or all four, if you're really enthusiastic. 

Peace out, unidentified-gender scouts.

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