Award shows have always confused me. Receiving an accolade is always awkward for at least one of the two parties involved: it's either the humble and modest accepter who is discomforted by the prospect of having to acknowledge their talent, or the audience who has to bear listening to an egotist thanking a long list of people not because they really appreciate their help, but just to make sure everyone knows how many friends they have. I don't know what idiot created the concept of an award show, but they are most definitely imbecilic. Needless to say, I don't watch these programs. The only one I ever watch is the Oscars, mostly because I appreciate good acting and
not all movies from this century suck. The Emmys, the SAGs, the Grammys, the VMAs, the Peoples Choice, the Country Musics, the Electropopnotica Hispanic Discos, none of that nonsense goes on inside my house or my brain. There is one exception to this rule of sorts, and its existence stems merely from my love of--you guessed it--fashion.
You may recall my
Chictopia article about the Golden Globes last year, in which I articulated through the use of bolded text my aversion to award shows, but watched them anyway against my will (and really for no reason). I didn't fall into that evil trap this year, but this Monday morning I found myself eating breakfast at 10 am at my dining room table (the only perk of having midterms this week was that I got to sleep a few extra hours one day.
Whoopee.) and being urged by several emails in my inbox to 'check out what the stars wore to the biggest award show of the season,' or some absurdity like that. Maybe it was because it was my brain was fried from a weekend chock full of studying the history of the entire world, or maybe it was because the yogurt I was eating was making my tongue tingle and was probably expired, but something told me to go to Harper's Bazaar's website and look at the red carpet looks. So I did it. Call me a crazy, impulsive teenager. To my complacent surprise, there were actually very few dresses that I liked. That sort of served as validation for my antipathy to award ceremonies, like, "Yeah, they don't even dress that well either, so
there, media!" Only a few ensembles caught my eye. There were just too many
mermaid-silhouette dresses, strapless numbers, super-form-fitting gowns, and an all-around lack of individuality. I clicked through photo after photo and found myself seeing the same dresses over and over. What happened to originality?? Where did it go? Where's the spunk? The spark? It felt like everyone was only dressing themselves in order to show off their bodies, which is totally fine, but that's not the whole point of clothing. Doing that is almost like doing a disservice to your body. You can wear so many bangin' things, so why limit yourself just because you want people to see your mega awesome abdomen? Yes, Megan Fox, we know you are a sex goddess, but being a sex goddess is just so much more fun for everybody if you look like you're having
fun while oozing venereal appeal. Dressing oneself is an experimental process, not a monotonous one. I actually had a moment of realization yesterday morning while walking to school that every day is like a new adventure--not in the conventional sense that each day has many opportunities to do new things (mainly because going to school every day rarely yields "new" experiences), but that one has a chance to wear something
different. And that's pretty exciting. That being said, let's take a look at who actually took those chances and wore something
new and
exciting and
different. Notice how most of them are some of my favorite women (see: Anne Hathaway, Marion Cotillard, etcetera).
Marion Cotillard in Dior
I guess
orange is still going strong. Props to my girl Marion for being bold enough to wear tangerine on the red carpet. It's actually very flattering, and her simple hair and makeup remind me why a) she's a fuqin' awesome lady and b) why she is the face of Dior.
Lucy Liu in Carolina Herrera
I know nothing about Lucy Liu except that she seriously knows how to dress herself. That Carolina Herrera dress is like a garden made specifically for happy fairies drinking strawberry milk, or something. And it has pockets. 'Nuff said.
Anne Hathaway in Chanel
Anne Hathaway, my beautiful queen!! She gets
two exclamation points! In addition to being a remarkably talented actress and singer, she has joined the short hair club (among the ranks of
Emma Watson, Lena Dunham,
Michelle Williams, and others) and rocks the socks off of it like no other. Anne has always been a well-dressed woman, but now that she looks more like
Saskia de Brauw, it only makes sense that a higher volume of Chanel would have to exist in her life.
Zooey Deschanel in Oscar de la Renta
Zooey is the definition of quirky. She nearly blended in with the red carpet at the Golden Globes, it would seem, and it even looks like her dress is opposing gravity and tilting the wrong way. Zooey just has that power over the universe.
Julianne Hough in Monique Lhullier
I'm pretty sure Julianne Hough was in a Proactiv commercial a few years ago and was also on Dancing With the Stars. Who would have thunk that she'd turn up on the red carpet in a sparkly glitter princess gown? Fan-cee!
Nicole Kidman in Alexander McQueen
Nicole Kidman was on the cover of Harper's Bazaar a few months ago, so I learned all about her life. Obviously, because a
magazine told me that she's awesome, it
must be true. Whether she's actually cool or not, anyone wearing Alexander McQueen that isn't
Daphne Guinness deserves to be recognized as no less (Daphne is excluded because her and McQueen clothing are essentially one being, anyway).
If you happen to be dressing for a red carpet event such as, say, the Academy Awards, take a tip from the above laydeez and have
a really good time dressing yourself. If you look like you're having a blast, people will wonder what you're on if you're just standing there looking all cheery (see: Nicole Kidman, above), and slowly realize that, oh, it's because she has on a unique dress that totally exemplifies her personality and idiosyncratic qualities!
Enjoy your weekend, friends! I've officially finished my first semester. Imagine me doing a very dramatic tribal dance fused with ballet and jump roping, and that is what my brain is doing right now.
