Don't Try This At Home

Months and months and months ago, I found myself staring at Alix Bancourt's feet. Several times. It's not because I have a foot fetish. It's because she was wearing her Charlotte Olympia Kitty Flats and wanted the whole world to know about it (with good reason). The first time I saw them, I thought they were the cutest darn things I'd ever seen. "How very Alix," I thought. Then I saw my homegurl Alexa Chung wearing the same cat slip-ons with a Valentino dress in the Jardins des Tuileries during Paris Fashion Week sometime last year. And then again. And then another time. And once more. The same way you'll sometimes hear a word and think, "Huh, that's interesting," and then it shows up everywhere, I was suddenly seeing these kitten shoes in a million places. They piqued my interest. I began to do some research. 

Left: Alexa Chung...Right: Alix Bancourt's feet. Three times. In various settings. 

I found out who had designed them and started searching them up on the trusty interwebz. For some idiotic reason, I assumed they would be no more than one hundred dollars--maybe fifty if I was lucky. Try four hundred sixty five British pounds. Gr8. Even though I kind of hate cats, these flats were too adorable to ignore. "I'm a crafty gal," I mumbled deviously. "I can figure something out." So I did. 

I located the one pair of flats in my possession, which happened to be some flimsy little shoes I'd picked up at Payless in sixth grade for a school play but had grown to love. This is where the doing-it-yourself comes in, and what you should not in fact do yourself unless you have a solid three-consecutive-day block of time to spend embroidering a pair of shoes. So really, you're not doing anything at all. Just looking. 

The before. 

The after.

Here, kitty kitty! 

Since these shoes were black-and-white and the Charlotte Olympias were not, I had to whip out my black fabric paint from the trenches of my art supplies. Note: this was not as difficult as I made it sound. Paint paint paint, dry dry dry... Hop forward a few months and see me embroidering these little guys while watching television on my computer (this was a rare occasion), whimpering in pain as my clammy hands attempted to shove a hand sewing needle through tough fabric. I made minimal progress in the grand scheme of things. Due to the intense pain I was feeling in my finger tips, work on these puppies kitties halted for quite some time. At the beginning of this month, I brought them along with me on my various northeastern travels and plopped down with them one night while watching the Olympics. In a matter of hours, they were basically done. I just added some finishing touches to them yesterday, at which point I deemed them acceptable to post on this here website.

They look much scarier from this angle. 

Try to ignore the multitude of glaring imperfections. 

I kind of wish cats had eyebrows because then these would look less bald. 

This photograph instantly calls to mind that episode of Spongebob where he and Patrick create Doodlebob, who creeps into their houses in the middle of the night to erase their bodies. 

Remind me to never make anything with eyes ever again. 

Attempt to make a pair of kitten flats by all means. Don't try this at home, kiddies, if: 

1. Your black flats are not made of something sew-able (those patent leather Steve Madden ones that everyone had a few years ago simply will not work) 

2. You have never embroidered or hand sewn before 

3. You are impatient 

4. You don't have a lot of time to dedicate to this project and/or care if it takes you several months to complete in the event that you will spread everything out over time 

5. You don't have a darning needle 

Now I'm ready for Fashion Week. #pleasehelpmeI'mnotready 

Since today is my first day on the job, I can finally reveal my secret. For these next two weeks, I will be interning with the fashion designer Lyn Devon. I have nothing to report thus far since I actually wrote this the night before my first day, but I can just feel that this is going to be the best ten days of my life.

Have a peachy week, friends!

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